remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
