nutella sex= disaster
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
