Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
