While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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