The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
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