Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
