I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Randomize
