Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Randomize
