yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize
