sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
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