Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
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