Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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