i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
