And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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