a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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