Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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