"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
