i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I understand Curling. That high.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
