that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
