Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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