party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
