Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Randomize
