Having a random hookup so left but love u
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
