The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
