If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Come share oat with me in your robe
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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