her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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