yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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