Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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