break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
