My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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