It's Friday. Sex?
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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