I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize