Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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