Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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