apparently the secret to your success is patron
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Randomize
