I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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