what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
