dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Randomize
