I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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