butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
