you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
