Nicole vs. Life
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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