Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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