I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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