you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
