You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
