just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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