That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
