Where did you get a picture of my penis
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
