My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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