Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize
