I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
