help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Just cropdusted the office
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
