yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
