You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
