i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
