Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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