You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
