happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
