Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
My orgasm happened in two different decades
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
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