sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I AM VODKA MAN
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Randomize
